I have unmitigated and irrefutable, faith.
I don’t always live that way.
I can be controlling AF.
I can think I have all the answers.
I can be stubborn and short-sighted.
I can suffer like there’s no tomorrow when things don’t go the way I want them to.
I can take life so seriously that it cripples me.
AND then I remember…
And I remind myself…
Where do you have power?
Where do you need to surrender and trust NOW?
Two nights ago, I walked outside my cozy cabin, into the Colorado cold, poodle by my side, and I prayed.
I’ve been wrestling with some fearful-shit-hitting-the-fan-life-stuff…
Pain. Illness. Life-changing stuff.
Not mine, but a loved one. A beloved one.
I stood barefoot and nearly naked in 10-degree temps on my stoop and prayed.
I prayed to God.
I prayed to my guides and a team of angels.
I prayed to my dearly departed Daddy just on the other side.
It went something like this:
“I need to rise on up and out of my self-absorption, and I need to love this one through. I need you to help me. Please help me. Help me help her find her highest path. Help me help soothe her gripping fear and obvious pain. Help me trust this process and life itself… and even trust the passing of a life. Help me, God. Help me, Daddy, please. I know it’s arrogant to ask, but I’m going to because I’ve been rocked to my core… So, I need some serious evidence that you’re with me now and that you can hear me and you’re standing by to help. I need it to be obvious and I need it now. Shoot a star across the sky. Blaze it overhead. Assure me that we are not alone, and you’ve got us. You’ve got my beloved who is suffering, and you’ve got me who needs to know how to help. I will trust and most certainly follow your lead. I will follow your bread crumb trail. I’ll surrender control and my need to know… but please show me that you’re here.”
Not 30 seconds later it shot across the milky way and slipped behind the mountains.
I dropped to my knees sobbing with gratitude, filled with a love so powerful and potent it shored me instantly.
We are not alone.
Guidance is always near.
Believe with your hearts, my loves.
Let your faith be your rock.
Let it be your star, guiding you home.