I now know grief.
I now know the heart ache of losing a love of your life.
I now know what it means to long for the sound of your voice.
Or the scent of you. A bouquet of sawdust, old spice, and pipe tobacco.
I now know what it means to crave the sound of your laughter as if it would anchor me.
I now know how many times I took for granted, your rarely offered, only when asked, heart felt, well thought out, sage-wisdom.
I now know how free you are in the boundlessness of your great and mighty Spirit.
I now feel you every single day… You talk to me in new ways now. A freedom in having no time or space between us.
I now know what it feels like to grieve, my beloved daddy.
The greatest man I have known and loved.
Daddy, I miss you. I ache for you.
Yet, my unmitigated faith now knows that you are where you are meant to be. You are ‘home.’
It is glorious. You are free and truly an angel among us all.
I now know a love I have never known… You on the other side of heaven… and me still grappling with what that means.
I now know more of you, more of me, more of life and more of loving…
And, I thank you, Daddy, for IT ALL.