An Inside Job

I was born without reproductive organs. I made that mean I wasn’t good enough. That I was broken. That I was unlovable.

Shortly after the discovery of my birth defect, I began dating men who I felt couldn’t abandon me because of it.

I dated bad men.  Men who were projects at best and abusers at worst.

Men who wouldn’t leave me because I couldn’t give them a baby.

Subconsciously, I was choosing to punish myself for not being born with a uterus.

My epiphany came when I realized that I was the common denominator in these horrendous relationships.  

I realized that I attracted the love that I thought I deserved.

At which point I got to work on myself.  I dove into therapy.  I began to flip my script from being broken to merely being different.

I welcomed ‘single-cycles’ and eras of healing and self-discovery.

My worth was not measured through society’s standards.  

I liberated myself from the story of being unlovable to focusing on my gifts and strengths.

I haven’t met the man who will walk through this world with me just yet, but I am not incomplete without one.  

I am the happiest I have been because I choose to experience the value that I offer to the world.  

Self-love and self-worth are determined through our lens.  

More than occasionally we need to clean that lens.  

It takes courage to tell ourselves a different story.

No one can love us enough so that we love ourselves.  

It’s always an inside job.

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